Do you react or respond ?

 

When I thought of this question, I begin to wonder what would I do, I try to visualize many scenarios in which I was encountering such a situation and I was trying to come up with my answer. Now you may be wondering what nonsense is he talking about.

I came across this question through a speech by Sundar Pichai. It is a speech about the "Cockroach Theory" in Self development. Here's what the theory is on his own words:

"At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on one of the ladies in that group. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself, and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping his coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of his mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies.

Then he realized that "it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.  

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life."

After reading this I understood that I should not react in life, I should always respond. Here the waiter responded while the women reacted. Reactions can spoil the situation whereas Responses can Improve our ability to handle any situation better.

Next time, whenever you encounter a situation like this, think of this as an opportunity to grow.